TIPS TO PROPERLY HANDLE CHILD CUSTODY MEDIATION

A parent anticipating child custody mediation will have a plethora of questions, fogged with vast confusion. 

What will happen in the custody proceedings?

What should I review?

How should I prepare for it? 

Fret not!

If you or someone you know is battling child custody mediation, these tips might help you face it with a peaceful mind:

Emotions

The first tip for child support and custody is to make sure that you keep all of your emotions outside of the mediation. When you are going through a divorce, you will be going through a lot of different emotions-anger, frustration. Even if it is a pleasant divorce, there is going to be animosity and negativity which you can not easily shrug off. It is important to remember that mediation is not the time that you should be talking about some of the problems that you had in your marriage. No matter what is happening with your relationship, you need to focus on how to be the right parent to your child.

The children should not bear the brunt of your divorce any more than they have to. It is best for both parties to commit to doing what is best for the kids, so there is no room for resentment against each other. It is important to remember that the mediator is not going to hear about any of the things that might be happening in your divorce, and they are going to be unbiased about the situation. The mediator is there to make sure that none of your emotions is going to impact the relationship that your child will have with your soon-to-be-ex. This is the time to be mature about the divorce and put the past behind you for the sake of the children.

Listen

The second tip is to make sure that you are listening to your children when you are going to mediation for child support and custody. It is imperative to let the children have a voice in the negotiations of the divorce. Even though you might be tempted to focus on what you want out of the divorce, you need to consider the wants and needs of your child. The children are going to need to be in close contact with both the parents. But if they are always going to be exposed to conflict, then it can affect their relationship with the parents. When you know that you are going into mediation, you need to think ahead and remember who matters most to you and figure out what is best for them. I mean this is the whole point of having the mediation in the first place.

Think

The third tip is to think twice before you try to go out parenting solo. This means that you need to think about all of your options before you reject the idea of shared parenting. This is a decision that you might regret, especially if you are making this decision out of spite. You need to understand just how hard it is to be a single parent with all the expenses and workload. You will eventually get tired and will need a break every now and then. Make sure that you are not trying to get sole custody of your child during the mediation. This is because when the real life of a single parent hits you, you are going to wish that you tried to have a compromise with your ex-spouse.

Good Parent

The fourth tip is to remember that the good parent is not always a good spouse. In other words, just because your ex was not a good spouse to you, it does not mean that they are not going to be a good parent to your children. Therefore, you don’t let your opinion of your ex determine the impression that you have of them as the parent that they are going to be to your child.

Quality

The fifth tip to remember that quality time is the amount of time that you spend with your children. This means that you need to make the most of the time that you have with your children and not focus on how many times you get to see them. Therefore, the time that you are not spending with your children, you still need to be supporting them in whatever is going on in their life. This is going to help you bond even more with your child. This is one of the best ways that you are going to be able to have a constructive and close relationship with your child. It is essential to understand that you did not get the short end of the stick if you are still able to spend some time with your child.

Openness

The sixth tip is to be open with the new way of how your life is going to be. The life of parents and children, post-divorce, can be a lot easy and comfortable if they are able to accept the new way that the family is going to work and embrace this life that they will have together. Even though you might have some hard feelings for your spouse, you would be surprised how much it can help to put those feelings aside so that you can make the best out of the situation. For example, when it comes to holidays, try to figure out a way to include the other parent in the holiday rituals. This is the best way to help ease some of the tension between you two, and the child will be a lot more comfortable and happy. This means that you need to be open in trying new things even if it is not exactly what you had planned to do with your child. 

When you are divorced with children, you will have to adapt to flexibility, not just for your children but also to keep yourself at peace.