It can fill you with constant regret and guilt, affect your interactions with co-workers, friends, family, and neighbors, and make you avoid social settings. It can affect how you sleep, create unneeded anxiety and depression, and take away the very things you enjoy most. Yes, divorce is difficult, and yes, it can severely affect your mental health – but it doesn’t have to.
Mourning the death of a marriage is like grieving a loss. It’s the end of your family as you know it and the end of a relationship with someone you were once close to. Ultimately, these feelings will be front and center as you navigate your way through divorce – but isolating yourself will only make these feelings worse.
Here are some simple tips to keep you busy, help you get out, and speak with friends and family while ensuring you take proactive steps to manage your mental health during this difficult period.
Disassociate From Your Ex and Establish Boundaries
If you are in the process of divorce and don’t have children, you are not required to communicate or interact with your ex. If you have children, keep your communication brief, always focus on them, and stick to a predetermined pickup and drop-off schedule with minimal changes.
Outline boundaries with your ex. This will allow you to focus on yourself and heal. Do not discuss or answer divorce-related questions, and avoid conflict with your ex. If you have an ex who cannot stick to these rules and always tries to initiate conflict, a divorce lawyer in Hauppage or other nearby areas can set ground rules for communication.
Dissociate means to separate or disconnect. You must disconnect from the past by becoming indifferent to your ex and their tactics. Disconnect from them on social media. Block them if needed so you don’t have to deal with constant updates or reminders.
Focus on Self Care and Mental Health
What does it mean to practice self-care? It means taking care of yourself by eating healthily, getting out and exercising, having plenty of rest, developing new healthy habits, interacting with friends and family, and minimizing sources of stress. This is your time to reinvent yourself. It can include taking up a new hobby or rediscovering an old one. It can include volunteering your time for a worthwhile charity or joining a men’s or women’s sports league.
Taking care of your mental health isn’t just about ensuring you have someone to talk to. While seeking therapy is always a good idea if you’re depressed or anxious because of your divorce, keeping yourself busy and engaged with people goes a long way to developing new healthy habits while also laying the groundwork for new friendships.
Focus on Your Future
While it may be hard to think about your future, it’s all you have to look forward to, so why not start planning for it now? Think about things you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t or the places you’ve always wanted to visit but didn’t. Think about long-lost friendships and people you lost touch with but would love to reconnect with.
Start a list. Itemize all the things you’ve always wanted to do. Now is the time to start planning for what you want to do, what you want to become, who you want to be around, who you want to call friends, and how you see your future unfolding. This list will give you the motivation you need to enact your plan.
Taking Charge of Divorce With The Team at The Long Island Center for Divorce Mediation
At the Long Island Center for Divorce Mediation, we understand how difficult a divorce can be. We know this is a difficult time, so we’re focused on helping people navigate the often-confusing world of divorce. Whether you need divorce mediation in Ronkonkoma or want to know how our services work, we’re always here to help.
If you are going through a divorce and want to know how mediation can help, contact us now.