What is the Mediation Process?
I have over thirty years of experience in divorce mediation and in business negotiations — both as a mediator and as an attorney. I seek an amicable and realistic solution to the issues of divorce. Together the three of us — you, your spouse, and I — can work out a settlement of all issues in your divorce. We can usually do it in a matter of a few weeks — not the months or years of a contested divorce. You don’t have to live in the constant pain of a failing marriage. You can quickly move on. You don’t need to to go to Court. You don’t have to deal with lawyers and judges who are just to busy to give you the attention you need. There is no waiting for months on end just to sit in a courthouse all day and have nothing happen. We expect to accomplish something in every session. A few sessions and we are done.
My job as a divorce mediator is to be neutral, but not to sit like a bump on a log.
I don’t take sides. Who is right or wrong is not the issue. What we are seeking is a realistic solution that allows you and your children to move into a future that works for each of you. I will push each of you to confront the issues and to resolve them based on the facts. Divorce is not rocket science.
What are the Issues to Mediate in Divorce?
There are really only three issues in divorce: children, money, and emotions. The facts are what they are. You have so many children. You have so much money. You have a house or not. You have debts or not. We simply need to list everything, then see what is the most effect use of the resources you have to benefit everyone the most.
We can mediate the Emotional Issues.
The major difficulty is the emotional component of divorce. Divorce changes everything and that can be hard to deal with. I certainly don’t discount how difficult a divorce is, and facing the behaviors that brought it about. But that is the past — you are moving forward to a new life. We can recognize the hurt, the resentment, the fear, but still move on with decision making for a different future.
Another major issues is money. There is never enough. However, in mediation we can deal with the realities — how much money is available and what the real needs of you, your spouse, and your children. We can be realistic and make the money go a lot farther. There is no need to spend everything you have.
Every parent fears losing his or her children. Often often parents in divorce cling to custody as if a lifeboat. But resolving these issues is actually simpler than you might think. The realities of school schedules, work schedules, commuting, all make laying out a schedule an exercise in — how do we get though the day.
By setting aside the emotional issues and focusing on the actual facts of daily life we can often find workable solutions quickly.