I Want A Divorce: How To Start The Divorce Conversation

Initiating a sensitive and potentially devastating divorce conversation can be a daunting task. Delivering the bad news in any situation requires a careful approach, and the need for added caution is further amplified when emotions, finances, and children are involved in the conversation. By approaching the topic with understanding, establishing a healthy space for clear communication, and standing firm in your decision with an open-minded attitude, achieving an amicable separation and avoiding World War III is possible. 

Ask Yourself Honest Questions

Before demanding a divorce without thinking it through, it’s important to dig deep into the rationale behind your decision. The last thing you want to do is change your mind after spending thousands on lawyer fees, signing a new apartment lease, or running away with the kids in the middle of the night. 

You owe it to yourself to come up with a realistic list of reasons behind the divorce. Pros and cons list is a great place to start and should include important considerations like: 

  • Are Your Emotional Needs Being Met? 
  • How is the Relationship Negatively Affecting Your Life?
  • Are Your Reasons Selfish or Based on Temporary Frustrations?
  • Have You Attempted to Resolve Marital Issues Through Counseling?

After doing an honest evaluation, only you can decide if divorce is the appropriate path forward. If you decide that divorce is the only realistic option, it’s time to have that conversation.

Find the Right Time & Place

You may both be equally unhappy and a divorce will come as no surprise when you finally mention the divorce. On the flip side, if the mention of divorce will completely catch your spouse off guard, preparing accordingly can help with the conversation. In both instances, the correct timing, clearly-defined reasons, and a relaxed setting can help to prevent the situation from feeling out of control. 

Prepare for the conversation by organizing and writing down your reasons. If you can, plan for your kids to stay with a family member or friend before the conversation occurs. Also, time the conversation so that major life circumstances like a recent job loss or medical situation don’t overlap with the significant emotional impact your spouse is likely to experience. Of course, there is no such thing as the ideal time or place to inform your spouse of your decision, and only you can decide when and where is appropriate for your situation. 

Divorce Mediation Promotes Healthy Discussion

Depending on the success of your conversation, you may benefit from the guidance of a divorce mediation attorney in Long Island if your attempts to initiate a calm discussion are met with anger or an unwillingness to compromise. Divorce mediation provides a healthy space to discuss the facts of the situation without getting caught up in court proceedings or drawn-out legal battles. Our neutral mediators simply advocate for fair, amicable, and realistic solutions that preserve the interests and wellbeing of everyone involved in the divorce.