Home I Want To Stay In My House After Divorce

I Want To Stay In My House After Divorce

I Want To Stay In My House After Divorce

The Judge Will Say the children and I won’t have to move — right?

Maybe, maybe not. As always, when talking about children, their interests come before anyone else. You may feel that it is very important that the children not have to leave their home just because of divorce. But don’t mistake your needs for the needs of your children. It depends on some other issues.

For children in high school, staying in the same school with their friends is usually very important. Their welfare is very much tied into their friends and school. Most judges take that very seriously and will make every effort to keep high school age students in their school and so also in the marital residence. But it has be financially possible. If the custodial parent’s income, including child support, and maintenance if there is any, pays the mortgage, taxes, and homeowner’s insurance, then it is probably possible for the custodial parent to remain in the house until the children are eighteen. It would be rare for a Judge to order the non-custodial parent to pay more in addition to child support and maintenance so that you and the children can stay in the house.

What Does the Judge Decide Re Younger Children and the House

What about younger children? Why do they have to move out of the only home they have ever known? If you and your spouse agree that you and the children can stay in the house that is fine — no one will object. But often the non-custodial spouse wants his or her share of the net value of the house — and wants it now. Or, even though both of you want to keep the house for the children, you simply cannot afford it. Sell the house, share the proceeds, and move on. If you have very young children — preschool age — that house is going to be sold. If you have child in elementary or middle school — almost assuredly the house will be sold. Children can relocate to a new home, to a new school, and to new friends. Children are much more flexible than we often imagine. They will adjust.

The point is that Judges are flexible, but they have to weigh the competing interests. And part of that analysis is financial — what plan can work based on the facts and how the law applies to those facts.

How can Divorce Mediation Keep Me In My House?

The facts are what they are. Your income, your ex’s income, how many children and how old they are. That is where we start. Often, by making adjustments based on other assets we can work out a deal. Maybe you can buy out your spouse’s interest in the house by trading off against his or her pension. Or maybe you have a joint savings or checking account with substantial saving; you take less and take more or all of the house. This is one of the major benefits of mediation.

Judges are simply to busy to work out this kind of transaction — they leave it to the lawyers. Most lawyers are capable of negotiating this sort of deal — but many believe that the best way is simply to go to trial, present the facts, and let the judge decide. That sounds great, why not? The problems are these: 1. it is horribly expensive to prepare for and hold a trial. I cannot imagine spending at least $50,000 before the first day of trial. It is often more expensive than the amount of money at issue — the cost of settling. 2. You have no control over the outcome. Most people believe that each side tells the judge his or her version of the story, and then the Judge decides who is right. It doesn’t work that way. It is the Judge’s job to listen to all the evidence, evaluate it, and then apply the law. An extremely important part of the Judge’s job is to evaluate you and your spouse.

What Kind of Parents Are You?

What kind of parents are you? Are you believable in your story? Did you tell the truth to the Court about your income, your parenting skills and the lack of parenting skills in your ex? The Judge listens, then decides, and then orders the result. You are stuck with it, whatever it is. Appealing a Trial Court Judge’s decision in a divorce case is a losing proposition. The Judge would have to have been utterly wrong on something important. Trial Judges rarely make those kinds of mistakes. 3. It could take years.

The Court are very busy; lawyers are very busy– scheduling a trial date is not so easy. It could easily be two or three years from the date you begin the divorce to the first day of trial. Trials can extend over weeks or month. I had one divorce trial — one that was basically only about custody — that lasted over a year — a couple of days here, a morning there, and so forth for twelve months. You really don’t want to get involved in that.

What Happens in Divorce Mediation

In contrast, in divorce mediation its just the two of you and one or two of our mediators — an experienced divorce lawyer and an experienced clinical psychologist with vast experience in dealing with children and divorce. We can very quickly guide you to the most realistic and most useful choices.

One of the most important benefits of divorce mediation at the Long Island Center for Divorce Mediation Suffolk County rather than litigation is that our role as divorce mediators is to offer options and guide you in making your decisions. No one is try to win or lose. We seek to help you create a future for you, you ex, and your children, that maximizes the benefit to each of you and the children. Divorce does not have to be a zero-sum game.

Please take the opportunity to review our reviews, services and process. Then contact us for a free divorce mediation session.

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