FAQ s - Divorce Mediation Long Island Center for Divorce Mediation
FAQ s – Divorce Mediation Long Island Center for Divorce Mediation

Here are FAQs – Long Island divorce mediation and divorce mediators. Please use our side menus for in-depth coverage about each divorce mediation issue. And call us for is you have additional questions. We love to answer. 631-757-1553

FAQs – Long Island Divorce Mediation

1. What Happens in Mediation?  

FAQs – Divorce Mediation Long  Island (Divorce Mediation Services) – In Divorce Mediation, the two divorcing Spouses, led by a mediator, sit down together and come to agreement on all important divorcing issues. During the divorce mediation sessions, issues that get mediated include: child custody choices, child support negotiations, spousal support (maintenance), division of financial assets and liabilities, division of property including the house decisions, pensions, insurance, etc.

At the Long Island Center for Divorce Mediation, our five-star mediators gather all information from the Spouses about all the issues above. Presenting the complete big picture  back to the Spouses, they also acquaint the couple with the NY State legal guidelines, such as child support requirements. Our divorce mediators then make suggestions for what agreements have proven useful in the past.

The Spouses are encouraged to make their choices and come to agreement in issues after issue. When all agreements are reached, our Long Island divorce mediator attorney, Fred Klarer, develops the Stipulation of Settlement and the Divorce Legal Papers. Both get filed with the courts and the Judge eventually signs the documents. At that point, the couple is legally divorced.

2. Who Are Mediators and How Are They Trained?

 Fred Klarer, Long Island Divorce Mediator Attorney at the Long Island Center for Divorce Mediation: FAQs - Divorce Mediation Long Island
Fred Klarer, Long Island Divorce Mediator Attorney at the Long Island Center for Divorce Mediation

FAQs – Divorce Mediation Long Island –  Divorce mediators are a relatively new profession, about twenty years old. Divorce mediators come from a host of other professions. They can be lawyers, psychologists, social workers or other professionals.

Most reputable divorce mediators have gone through training at divorce mediator training centers. While training is available, there is no license for a divorce mediator.

 Dr. Diane Kramer, Long Island Divorce Mediator Psychologist at the Long Island Center for Divorce Mediation: FAQs - Divorce Mediation Long Island
Dr. Diane Kramer, Long Island Divorce Mediator Psychologist at the Long Island Center for Divorce Mediation

The divorce mediator conducts the divorce mediation sessions. Once completed, a lawyer usually turns the agreements into the Stipulation of Settlement and Divorce Papers. Obviously, those divorce mediators who are also lawyers can do the required paperwork for you. Those mediators who are not lawyers will provide you with a memorandum of agreement. You can bring that memorandum to a lawyer to complete the paperwork that needs to go to the Judge. Only then will a legal divorce ensue.

It is possble to take the memorandum to a paralegal for completion of paperwork or to even try to do it yourself. We do not recommend this method as often the paperwork is overturned and has to be redone.

3. What is a Separation Agreement? Is That Better for Me Than Divorcing?

FAQs – Divorce Mediation Long Island – Sometimes people want a Separation Agreement rather than a Legal Divorce. A Separation Agreement starts with our mediators mediating all the issues to negotiate, same as in Divorce. Then the Separation Agreement, a contract between the Spouses containing all the mediated issues is drawn up. The Separation Agreement, similar to the Stipulation of Settlement, is then filed with the county clerk in NY.

Why do couples select a separation, rather than a divorce? Some  are hoping to reconcile. Some want to stay on the other Spouse’s Health Insurance. Since in a separation, the couple is still married, most insurance plans allow the non-insured Spouse to stay on the plan, even though separated.

Once the Separation Agreement is signed, neither Spouse is responsible for any new debt racked up by either Spouse.

4. What if I Can’t Get My Spouse to Come to Divorce Mediation?

FAQs – Divorce Mediation Long  Island – In New York, we have no-fault divorce. That means that you no longer need to prove grounds in order to get a divorce. Either Spouse can get a divorce if they wish.

Therefore, the Spouse who wants a divorce can say to the other: “I am getting a divorce. You can come to divorce mediation sessions and divorce that way.  Or we can go to separate lawyers and pay a large retainer each with more expense to come.” Most Spouses then agree to come to mediation which costs under $5000 total as compared to going to separate lawyers. Each side must come up with an average of $7500 as a starter retainer when going to separate lawyers.

5. What  Are the Guidelines for Child Custody in NY? 

FAQs – Divorce Mediation Long  Island – Couples can choose either sole legal custody or joint legal custody. In joint legal custody, parents share responsibility for important decisions about their children, including health and school.

In sole legal custody, one parent is responsible for decisions re the children.

In New York, most couples these days are choosing joint legal custody.

Then there is residential custody. Residential custody refers to where the children primarily reside. The parent who has residential custody receives child support from the non-residential parent.

6. What Are the Guidelines for Child Support in NY?

FAQs – Divorce Mediation Long  Island – Child support amounts have been mandated by the Courts in New York State. They are : The residential Spouse gets 17% of the non-residential Spouse’s gross yearly income minus social security for one child. For two children, the number is 25%. For three children, 29%. For four or more children, the amount is 35%.

In divorce mediation, Spouses can modify the amounts mandated by the Courts according to circumstances.

7. What About Spousal Support?

FAQs – Divorce Mediation Long  Island – The New York State Courts have developed a complex formula for determining Spousal Support. They include the salaries of each Spouse, length of marriage and other factors. A rule of thumb – if the Spousal incomes are close to equal when child support is added in, usually there is no Spousal Support. Please call our Long Island Center for Divorce Mediation for details. 631-757-1553

8. How Are Financial Assets and Debts Divided Up in Divorce Mediation on Long Island?

FAQs – Divorce Mediation Long  Island –  In mediation, the mediator gathers all financial information from the Couple. Then the mediator guides the Spouses through division of all assets and liabilities. In New York, all property acquired after the marriage is divided through equitable distribution. Most often the Couple decides on a 50/50 split, but that can be varied in individual cases.

9. What About My Pension?

FAQs – Divorce Mediation Long  Island – In most circusmstances, any part of a pension, IRA or 401k, earned during the marriage is distributable between the Spouses. Often that results in a 50/50 splt. Again, this can be varied during divorce mediation.

10. What about the House?

FAQs – Divorce Mediation Long  Island – In New York State, neither Spouse automatically gets the House. Whether the House is to be sold or not depends on the overall picture of the finances of the Couple. It also depends on who is the owner. Some Houses are bought before the marriage and that Spouse then retains ownership after divorce.

This is a complex issue that needs to be resolved before the mediation sessions are completed.