Perhaps the most challenging aspect of every divorce is breaking the news to the children. While there’s no avoiding serious emotional consequences like sadness, confusion, or even anger, with a careful and considerate plan that’s inclusive of your children’s needs, achieving a peaceful resolution and minimizing the emotional turbulence is possible.
Before attempting to manage this sensitive subject on your own, we always recommend seeking counsel through divorce mediation. We’ll help you develop an organized plan that focuses on the facts of the situation, and work through mutual family goals to minimize the emotional trauma. By establishing a supportive framework before telling your children, you can address your children’s concerns with realistic and reassuring solutions already in place.
Don’t Inform Your Children Until the Divorce Plans Are Official
Since children process serious emotions differently, it’s never a good idea to rush into the conversation. Unless the news has already broken, it’s best to wait until you are 100% sure that the divorce is going to happen. Your children look to you as their support system and telling them about a separation only to change your mind, later on, causes unnecessary stress and feelings of insecurity. Informing your children about a divorce is a major paradigm shift, and this subject should be approached with love and understanding.
Practice the Conversation
After finalizing the shared responsibility plans, the next step is to rehearse a conversation and ensure that you have all of the main changes clearly outlined. However, you ultimately decide to break the news, begin with honesty, and gentleness, and be prepared to answer your children’s questions while providing constant reassurance that it is not their fault.
Worries about where they will live, how much time they will have with their parents, and who will take them to soccer practices are all important details. Your children deserve to be included in the entire process, especially if they have a say in many of the lifestyle arrangements. By showing your children that their opinion matters and that the divorce has nothing to do with their actions, you can begin working towards a healthy separation where your children feel supported and valued.
Do Your Best to Remain Calm & Compassionate
During your emotional turmoil, it can be tough to act as a beacon of hope and reassurance. While difficult, you must remain supportive and allow them to express whatever emotions they may have without letting your feelings of anger or sadness dominate the discussion. This is about their lives too, and there’s no better way to support their healing than by demonstrating through your actions that everything is going to be okay.
Contact Us for Supportive Meditation & Guidance Today
It won’t be easy, but with professional guidance and a willingness to compromise, your transition to a new lifestyle can still involve quality child care, emotional support, and healthy family bonds retained.