Child Custody Disputes Are Really About the Fear of Losing Your Children
Child custody is really a cover for the most common fear that parents have in divorce. It is the fear that they will lose their children and become weekend parents. No parent wants to lose his or her children. But now, with two households, how can that work? In a contested divorce the Courts usually just award custody to one parent. The other parent gets weekend visitation every other week. Maybe another night during the week for dinner. Not really satisfactory. But if you are in a court arguing about custody it is unlikely that a joint custody arrangement would work. And so it goes when someone else makes the decisions about child custody. Who loses? Actually, it is your children who lose.
The Realities of Your Weekly and Yearly Calendar Can Set Child Custody Arrangement That Works.
Instead of fighting over words like “custody” and “visitation” we focus on how much time each parent will spend with the children and who is going to make what decisions. The reality is that most parents work and most children go to school. Those activities take up most of the day. After school children often have lessors or school events. Weekends on Long Island are often filled with soccer or lacrosse, or gymnastics, or who knows what else. The problem is often not who has the children, but who is going to take them to their activities. So, in child custody we focus on the time each parent spends with the children rather than what to call it.
There Are Many Ways to Divide Up Time with the Children That Meet Everyone’s Needs.
Two weeks have fourteen days. There are many ways to divide up fourteen days so that your children can spend equal time with each parent. Also, by combining a Friday afternoon and night or a Sunday night and Monday morning, a weekend can become a meaningful block of time. There are many ways to schedule parenting time that makes everyone’s life better. There is no reason to make it worse with a fight over words.