Divorce Mediation Appears to Be a Better Option than Divorce Litigation to Long Island Couple.

 

A couple came in to see me two weeks ago, hoping to avoid a disastrous litigated divorce. The wife already had an attorney; the husband is a lawyer — not a matrimonial lawyer — who was hoping to avoid two or three years of expensive and destructive litigation.

At our first meeting the husband dominated the discussion. I made sure that the wife had a say, and I asked her frequently whether she understood the various topics. She said that she did, but that she just wanted to listen.

The wife’s point was that the husband was a very successful attorney, had made millions, and that she was willing to divorce, so long as nothing substantial in her life changed. She did not want to stay in the marital residence, but wanted her husband to buy her another house where she and their five children (three of whom were over 21) could life. She also believed that the husband had a business worth millions, apart from his law practice.

Husband and Wife Already in Court, Hoping to Avoid Litigation through Divorce Mediation 

I discovered during this session that they were already in court, that the wife was represented by counsel, and that they had already appeared at the initial, preliminary, conference.

I asked the husband whether he had filed his net worth statement yet — the court-required sworn  statement of assets and liabilities, expenses and income. He said that he had not.

Wife Is Clueless As to Husband’s Money; Husband Came to Divorce Mediation Because He Does Not Want to Disclose His Finances

I asked the wife what she knew about their finances; she told me me that she knew nothing except that her husband was rich and successful.

I told the husband that he needed to prepare a net worth statement immediately; it was required by the Court and there was no way we could proceed in mediation without a financial statement. He agreed to do so.

Our second meeting was a week later. The husband brought a large stack of financial information and we proceeded to review it. It quickly became apparent that, assuming his documents were both substantially correct and substantially complete, he was deeply in debt — to the turn of millions of dollars. It was also clear that he was borrowing just to support current expenses.

The three of us went over the documents. It was not at all clear whether the wife accepted the facts as presented by the husband or not. She clearly did understand what was being said.

The Wife Did Not Accept the Truth of the Husband’s Finances As Disclosed in Divorce Mediation Session 

It became increasingly clear that the future she wanted was not remotely possible on the financial facts that we presented. What to do?

The husband proposed that the current situation continue until he could work out a solution to his financial problems, which he believed he could do with some time. The wife wasn’t buying it.

At the end of the ninety minute session I suggested that they might want to continue the discussions at home; they both thought that would not be a good idea, and insisted on another session with me the following week. We made an appointment.

To Be continued . . .

Tagged as: assessment of economic need, Distribution of Assets, Fred Klarer, Mediation vs. Litigation in Divorce Mediation Long Island, Refusal to Get Real