Divorce Mediation vs. Lawyer NY

Isn’t It Better to Use a Divorce Lawyer Rather than a Divorce Mediator in a New York divorce?

One of the most common questions that prospective Long Island divorce mediation clients ask us is whether or not they need a Long Island divorce attorney to represent them in a divorce mediation. Certainly, if can be a good idea to have the final agreement reviewed by a divorce lawyer, so that you have someone not involved in the mediation process give you some feedback. And certainly, whenever we feel that one of  you is so unsophisticated about the issues and to be unable to really fully understand the issues and solutions, we insist that you have the final agreement reviewed.

But the other side of this issue is that the criteria for a successful divorce requires that both of you be reasonable and realistic about the final outcome. Often divorce mediation clients insist in a mediation session that a Long island divorce attorney has advised them that they should get this or should not give up that. Unfortunately, the divorce lawyer who has advised them does not explain to the client the difference between what is possible and what is likely.

Most divorce attorneys on Long Island see it as their job to “get the most” for their client, and will present the most rosy scenario to a prospective client. What they don’t tell you is that, in the process of a contested divorce, there is a tremendous pressure put on both you and  your spouse to compromise: the court wants the matter settled, and so positions that the divorce lawyer may have sold to you as your “rights”, or “what you are entitled to” were either so far fetched in the first place that the other lawyer and the court reject them out of hand, or are so unlikely to prevail at trial that you are forced to compromise as the contested divorce proceeds. In any case, you are forced to be reasonable and realistic after spending tens of thousands of dollars.

We take an entirely different position from the beginning. If you are taking a position that we believe is unlikely to prevail at trail we will say so. Obviously, no one can predict with absolute certainty what will happen at a contested divorce trial in the courts of Long Island. But it is easy to spot a position that is too far out of the ballpark.

So, the first issue with divorce mediation vs. a lawyer in Long Island divorce is that you may spend a great deal of money in a Long Island contested divorce getting to the same place you could have reached in thirty minutes of mediation. One of the benefits of Divorce Mediation Long Island is that you avoid taking a position, and spending a great deal of money, when that position is never going to provail at the trial of your contested divorce.