For Therapists

A great many of our clients are referred to us by therapists. Why? Because I truly believe that divorce through litigation is a tragedy — for the parents, for the children, and even for the extended families that are inevitably involved in any divorce. Divorce is enough of a tragedy — the emotional destruction of every family member and the long-term trauma suffered by children when the parents engage in long-term litigation are all entirely unnecessary.

One of the great advantages of a Long Island divorce mediation is that the parents can work out their deal in relatively short order, before the process of litigation spoils any chance of a future relationship between them that is at least civil. There is no need to involve the children at all.

We recommend that the parents only tell their children about the divorce once they have worked out their arrangements in full. They can then sit down with the children together and focus on a future that has already been determined. The parents can present a united front in helping their children deal with the new future.

As I am sure you, as a professional therapist, know, what children need most is to know that they are loved by both their parents, that they have a place to live, and that their own personal lives,with their friends and their school, will be disturbed as little as possible. Uncertainty and public argument is what causes the most damage in children. Divorce mediation allows the parents to remove all but the undeniable — the parents are getting divorced and everyone’s life is about to be changed dramatically. It removes the children from the intensity of the divorce process.